Five Definitions of First
by kasugai gummie
Summary: [SanaTezuAtoFujiRyo] 'It was at times like this when he was positive that Dan Taichi had been a girl, or a crocodile with overworked tear ducts, in some past life.' ONESHOT


**Disclaimer**: Prince of Tennis is the brain baby of Konomi. OT5 crack, fortunately, in't. ;3

**Warnings**: SanaTezuAtoFujiRyo fivesome, indeterminate but legal ages for Dan and Ryoma, and tame but perverted snark abound.

**Author****'****s Notes**: Had this plunnie gnawing on my brain for quite awhile now, but lacked the proper motivation to finish it. But, obviously, something as of late spurred me on. One is as a pimpage vehicle for the another newly minted C2 community **OT5 Addicted**, "Breaking your brain, one pretty boy at a time." And, as always, please give it some love; In return we will try our hardest to twist your delicate sensibilities into little crack-receptive knots. More importantly however is the kick off of a beautiful relationship built on crack...

**Dedication**: Wai (**Wai-Aki**), Danii (**Lady Androgene**)... will you marry me? And produce hordes of crack forever more? XD XD XD

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**Five Definitions of First  
**by kasugai gummie

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Large brown eyes scanned the crowded throng of people worriedly. Where was he? Did he get into a traffic accident? Was he beaten, broken, and bleeding in an alleyway?

He worried his bottom lip. His right hand beat an anxious tempo on the tabletop. The digital numbers on his sports watch blinked one forty-five p.m. Forty-six.

Dan reached for his cell phone out of nervous habit.

"Geez, I'm ten minutes late and you're already set to call some social worker or something."

Spinning in his seat, Dan faced his lunch partner with an expression that was just short of sobbing relief.

"Put your phone away already, why don't you?" was Ryoma's exasperated drawl. "I was only delayed."

"No, no, that's not it!" Dan laughed in an abashed manner. "What Echizen-kun does with his time isn't my business. Although..."

Ryoma snorted at the poorly concealed curiosity and sat down. "What happened? Is that what you want to know?"

Dan nodded meekly.

"What else could happen but Keigo and Syuusuke?" Ryoma said with dignified simplicity while flagging down a waitress. "Litchi tapioca freeze" he told her the moment she appeared at their table, ignoring the appreciative tilt of her glossed lips directed his way. Then he dismissed the girl and continued to address Dan without missing a beat. "Kunimitsu and Genichirou aren't the types to accost me with new unmentionable techniques while sober. You know that."

Dan's expression took on a soft, understanding expression "They must be very special though, right, Echizen-kun? For you to put up with them and their teasing." There was a pause. "All four of them," he added as an afterthought.

"Special?" Ryoma echoed.

Dan nodded emphatically, ignorant of the skepticism found in the tawny eyes.

Ryoma tilted his head to the side as he seemed to mull over the word. "... I guess you could say that."

Dan's eyes turned lipid as a faint sheen of liquid washed over them at this admission, the speed of which never failed to be just the slightest bit disturbing. Ryoma shuddered back mentally. It was at times like this when he was positive that Dan Taichi had been a girl, or a crocodile with overworked tear ducts, in some past life.

"Echizen-kuuun." And there it was; the obnoxious whine that had pursued him throughout their years of junior high acquaintance.

The arrival of Ryoma's drink saved him temporarily from further prying.

"They are all kind of special, I guess," the tennis genius mumbled into his tall glass of fruit, ice and tapioca.

Dan beamed. "I knew it! I mean, it's obvious that you're all very special. Echizen-kun does realize that his relationship is not normal, right?"

"Are you _trying_ to be patronizing? And you meant special as in not right in the head, right?"

"Echizen-kun!" Dan admonished, though the odd little glint in his eyes didn't waver. "I wasn't making fun of you and you know it! Now," he leaned over the table, an air of excited discovery shimmering like a field of perfumed flowers around him, "details! How are each of your boyfriends special?"

Tawny eyes widened ever so slightly and Ryoma stared back at his lunch companion, incredulous. "Tell you?"

Dan nodded emphatically, an anticipatory grin plastered on his face.

"Never."

"Aaaaaw but Echizen-kuuuuuun!"

"No. And the only way I'd tell you anything is if you beat me in tennis." Ryoma allowed a smug smirk to replace his previous expression. "And since you quit tennis two years ago you have no chance."

A cute pout made its way onto Dan's face as he pulled back from where he was invading Ryoma's personal space. "Eeh, please give me _some_ credit where it's due, Echizen-kun. I'm a professional reporter now and I'm sure you've come to realize that not everything can be decided by tennis. Besides, I have good reason to believe that at least Fuji-san would be willing to depart with some information. Humor me, please."

The incredulous gawk (or the equivalent of a gawk on one tennis genius) made its way back onto Ryoma's face.

Dan smiled back, all sugar and cute furries. "Thank you for seeing my point, Echizen-kun. Now that you agree with me, how about we start with your first—?"

Shaking off the remnants of the other boy's viable threat, Ryoma sighed irritably. "My first? First what? Which particular gory detail do you want to know?"

There was a pause between Dan's initial train of thought and the second. "Which? But is't there only... You don't mean..."

"Four boyfriends."

"Ah... yes. Yes!" Professional confidence fleeing, Dan laughed rather hesitantly. "Um, which ones are there?"

Ryoma snorted. "I was attracted to Buchou first. But Syuusuke took my first kiss... tongue and all, the smiling bastard. Then after Keigo and Genichirou came along, hand in hand and chasing Buchou, I got my first taste of "fine wine," as that social butterfly would have it, and my first ballroom dancing lesson. Vertical tango as he and Keigo like to categorize it for some odd reason." The tennis genius directed a pointed look at the glaze-eyed Dan. "Does that answer your question?"

Giving himself a subtle shake, Dan offered an awkward smile. "Well, Um, actually, not quite. It's wonderful that Echizen-kun has so many "firsts" in one lifetime—"

Ryoma cut in, expression dark. "Don't be too sure about that."

But Dan ignored him. "—but none of those were what I was really referring to." The dangerous fawning expression melted onto his face again. "I sincerely hope Echizen-kun doesn't mind me asking more directly, but..."

Ryoma choked on Dan's next question, which was incidentally complemented with a small but suggestive leer that looked So Wrong on the other's deceptively innocent features.

"Who was your _First_?"

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**Fin  
**Completed: 09/19/05  
Proposed on: 09/22/05


End file.
